i wanna be that girl that guys wish they were with. i wanna walk through the mall and ppl think 'damn he's lucky" i want to be the girl that is seen at chuck e cheese and ppl say 'two kids!! wow she looks great.'
i wanna be the girl you wish you could be.
BUT i'm not. maybe one day. the choices i make are obvious i'm not really dedicated to my plan. maybe i'll feel different tomorrow.. maybe not. why does anyone care. you arent really following..... you dont have to be me. how could you possibly understand. Or why would you even care??? i might be overweight but 90% of the time i eat healthy and i work out. that should be enough. i kill myself over what YOU think.... nick loves me and always will no matter what ilook like.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
1-29-11
FML!! first pizza at chuck e cheese. which was okay cause i choose good all day. and i though okay a few ribs for dinner not bad. and now i'm two drinks in hating myself. and why!?! peer pressure. cause i want to look good but give in to other ppl making me feel like i should drink cause its "only once in a great while" that i do drink!. No more. if you dont drink, or dont care if i do or dont (cause i can have fun without it) then you are who i want to hang out with.
Friday, January 28, 2011
1-28-11 part 2
amazing workout! 2 mile run! felt great. i think i'm doing a good job! i'm determined and almost obsessed with reaching my goal. going to red robin for dinner with nick....hopefully i make the right choices there :-/
1-28=11
so its friday!
i weighed in and i'm only at 190. i know i didnt meet my goal, but i think i did really good. i feel good. and thats really all that matters. i've worked out all week and i worked out hard. I've eaten really good too. so i'm still happy with the results. I'd rather only lose 1lb than gain anything right... i know its gonna be a long struggle. but making the right choices is going ot get me there.
last night we went to a friends house. I had a beer and instantly regretted it! They dont list nutritional facts on Mikes harder lemonaide, but i googled it and i am shocked!!! 400cal and 44 carbs!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! thats INSANE!!! i'm DONE. not sure why i even drank it in the first place. If it had the nutritional information on the bottle i NEVER would have drank it!
I did good at dinner though. they had chicken and steak stir fry and rice. i had like a spoon full (not like a serving spoon full but like the kind you'd eat your cereal with) and i only got the chicken and veggies. so that was good! doesnt make up for the insane amount of calories in ONE mikes harder drink. I'm SOOO done drinking those. No wonder i gained 20lbs back this summer. FRICK!!! i'm sooo mad at myself. But i'm over it. i've learned my lesson. Not to mention the headache i got a couple hours after i drank it.
better luck next week! lol. I"m doing better every day. so that good
i weighed in and i'm only at 190. i know i didnt meet my goal, but i think i did really good. i feel good. and thats really all that matters. i've worked out all week and i worked out hard. I've eaten really good too. so i'm still happy with the results. I'd rather only lose 1lb than gain anything right... i know its gonna be a long struggle. but making the right choices is going ot get me there.
last night we went to a friends house. I had a beer and instantly regretted it! They dont list nutritional facts on Mikes harder lemonaide, but i googled it and i am shocked!!! 400cal and 44 carbs!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! thats INSANE!!! i'm DONE. not sure why i even drank it in the first place. If it had the nutritional information on the bottle i NEVER would have drank it!
I did good at dinner though. they had chicken and steak stir fry and rice. i had like a spoon full (not like a serving spoon full but like the kind you'd eat your cereal with) and i only got the chicken and veggies. so that was good! doesnt make up for the insane amount of calories in ONE mikes harder drink. I'm SOOO done drinking those. No wonder i gained 20lbs back this summer. FRICK!!! i'm sooo mad at myself. But i'm over it. i've learned my lesson. Not to mention the headache i got a couple hours after i drank it.
better luck next week! lol. I"m doing better every day. so that good
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
1-25-11
My goal for the week.
No more cheating. No more taking bites of the girls food. NO MORE! I have to be strict. No more popcorn at night either. it just makes me want soda. I dont see why I can't just go to bed after the girls. Why must I stay up for hours on end watching movies. I just get bored and want to eat. I dont smoke, or drink (thought i'd try wine but it was a bust I really dont like drinking). so the only thing i can do when i'm bored or stressed is eat.
I am going to try my hardest all week and I am hoping I can make it to 188 by friday. this morning i weighed 191 so its only 3 pounds. Not too bad. I think its do-able. If I try really hard i Might even make it to 186 (5lb loss) THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. that would only leave me with 38lbs to go!!! I think I've been doing really well! To me I dont look any smaller. but nick said he's noticed it. (not sure if he's just being nice But i'll take it HAHAHA). I really want to go shopping. Really bad. ANd there is this pink skirt that I want to be able to wear on my birthday in march. It was one that I wore on Nick and I's first date. I think it will be nice to wear again concidering I bought it at american eagle for 40 bucks!!!!! and could only wear it for like 3 months! I have so many nice clothes that i can fit into. Not to mention a whole chest full at my parents. Nice clothes i used to spend tons of money on! you know back when i THOUGHT i was fat. Ha, i never thought the day would come that i would WISH i was that size! oh geez, now i've started rambling. NEver said i was a good writer! lol!! thanks for reading if you still are....
This week is gonna be hard though. but i really want to loose the 5lbs. I'm still sick (coughing, runny nose) but every day i get better. wish me luck! and dont tempt me with delicious foods!
No more cheating. No more taking bites of the girls food. NO MORE! I have to be strict. No more popcorn at night either. it just makes me want soda. I dont see why I can't just go to bed after the girls. Why must I stay up for hours on end watching movies. I just get bored and want to eat. I dont smoke, or drink (thought i'd try wine but it was a bust I really dont like drinking). so the only thing i can do when i'm bored or stressed is eat.
I am going to try my hardest all week and I am hoping I can make it to 188 by friday. this morning i weighed 191 so its only 3 pounds. Not too bad. I think its do-able. If I try really hard i Might even make it to 186 (5lb loss) THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. that would only leave me with 38lbs to go!!! I think I've been doing really well! To me I dont look any smaller. but nick said he's noticed it. (not sure if he's just being nice But i'll take it HAHAHA). I really want to go shopping. Really bad. ANd there is this pink skirt that I want to be able to wear on my birthday in march. It was one that I wore on Nick and I's first date. I think it will be nice to wear again concidering I bought it at american eagle for 40 bucks!!!!! and could only wear it for like 3 months! I have so many nice clothes that i can fit into. Not to mention a whole chest full at my parents. Nice clothes i used to spend tons of money on! you know back when i THOUGHT i was fat. Ha, i never thought the day would come that i would WISH i was that size! oh geez, now i've started rambling. NEver said i was a good writer! lol!! thanks for reading if you still are....
This week is gonna be hard though. but i really want to loose the 5lbs. I'm still sick (coughing, runny nose) but every day i get better. wish me luck! and dont tempt me with delicious foods!
Monday, January 24, 2011
1-24-11 part 2
OHH ice cream, how I hate thee!!! especially chocolate ice cream with chocolate swirls and little pieces of chocolate covered peanut butter!!!! I hated every little delicious bite i took.
Nick comes home with 2 gallons of ice cream and a small one for natalie. I say "babe are you serious!!! wth!!!" he tells me "you dont have to eat it"
oh okay! sure. no i'll just let it sit in the freezer chanting my name...spring, spring, spring...tell i finally give in. He knows the kinds i dont like. the minty kinds. the ones he DOES like. so he could have just got 2 of the mint stuff...but no. i'm on my period and he gets something super chocolatey!!!
But as i'm dishing myself up this bowl of chocolatey sin i say to myself. well i had a good dinner. and BAM!!! it hits me. thats my problem. "today will be my cheat day" "its just one scoop" "just a couple bites wont hurt" But they do. I give myself excuses for failure.
But this is it. seriously. i'm done. this always happens. i get going really good and i think then its okay to loosen up a little. then i gain 3lbs and wonder why??? DUH!!! i can't have a cheat day till i meet my goal. Bottom line. and just cause its a weekend i stil lneed to work out and eat good. the excuses stop now! right now. after i have this candy bar. no i'm kidding. we dont have candy LOL!!
wish me luck
Nick comes home with 2 gallons of ice cream and a small one for natalie. I say "babe are you serious!!! wth!!!" he tells me "you dont have to eat it"
oh okay! sure. no i'll just let it sit in the freezer chanting my name...spring, spring, spring...tell i finally give in. He knows the kinds i dont like. the minty kinds. the ones he DOES like. so he could have just got 2 of the mint stuff...but no. i'm on my period and he gets something super chocolatey!!!
But as i'm dishing myself up this bowl of chocolatey sin i say to myself. well i had a good dinner. and BAM!!! it hits me. thats my problem. "today will be my cheat day" "its just one scoop" "just a couple bites wont hurt" But they do. I give myself excuses for failure.
But this is it. seriously. i'm done. this always happens. i get going really good and i think then its okay to loosen up a little. then i gain 3lbs and wonder why??? DUH!!! i can't have a cheat day till i meet my goal. Bottom line. and just cause its a weekend i stil lneed to work out and eat good. the excuses stop now! right now. after i have this candy bar. no i'm kidding. we dont have candy LOL!!
wish me luck
1-24-11
I didnt have the best workout today.. I'll blame it on still being sick. LOL. But at least I got back on after being so sick. It shouldnt take long to get myself back to a routine. Now if only I could find a way to keep Natalie from bugging me.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
saturday
Weighed myself Saturday morning and was SHOCKED. 190lbs now! AMAZING.
I ate a good healthy breakfast. But by the time we got to Bremerton I was STARVING. So we went to Kings Wok buffet in silverdale! I started out good. I couldnt find the fried shrimp I love sooo much. So i picked something with shrimp in it with vegitables. Not to bad. Then from my table I noticed they put out a fresh batch of my shrimp. It was sooo delicious!
But I paid for it all day! The fried greasyness of it made me feel gross all day. It made my stomach knot up. And it made me sweat all day. I figured....its okay. I'll just make some chicken tonight for dinner. We stopped in belfair on the way home cause I needed some fire starter and Nick decided we should have some nice steaks for dinner and some wine. Okay. So today will just be my cheat day. And I finished it off with some ice cream.
Not the best idea on a day that I had realized I lost a bunch of weight. But I think it should be okay. Tomorrow I should be able to work out. That plus eating right will put me back on track. Natalie will start going to preschool again on Tuesday and I should be able to get a good walk in with a few friends or by myself then I can come home have lunch and get a great workout in while chloe sleeps.
I know I can do this. I'm determined to do this!!! I dont think a cheat day every now and again is too bad. At least it was fried shrimp and not french fries with a big mac right. LOL!!! oh well. I'm gonna have days where I slip up. I love to eat. I like to eat real FOOD. Pork ribs, and fatty ribeye steaks, potatoes and rice. Its all about portion.
I'm kinda excited to get back to working out. The flu SUCKED!!! I'm excited to see what next sunday's weigh in will bring. my jean are already falling off of me. (very uncomfortable)
I ate a good healthy breakfast. But by the time we got to Bremerton I was STARVING. So we went to Kings Wok buffet in silverdale! I started out good. I couldnt find the fried shrimp I love sooo much. So i picked something with shrimp in it with vegitables. Not to bad. Then from my table I noticed they put out a fresh batch of my shrimp. It was sooo delicious!
But I paid for it all day! The fried greasyness of it made me feel gross all day. It made my stomach knot up. And it made me sweat all day. I figured....its okay. I'll just make some chicken tonight for dinner. We stopped in belfair on the way home cause I needed some fire starter and Nick decided we should have some nice steaks for dinner and some wine. Okay. So today will just be my cheat day. And I finished it off with some ice cream.
Not the best idea on a day that I had realized I lost a bunch of weight. But I think it should be okay. Tomorrow I should be able to work out. That plus eating right will put me back on track. Natalie will start going to preschool again on Tuesday and I should be able to get a good walk in with a few friends or by myself then I can come home have lunch and get a great workout in while chloe sleeps.
I know I can do this. I'm determined to do this!!! I dont think a cheat day every now and again is too bad. At least it was fried shrimp and not french fries with a big mac right. LOL!!! oh well. I'm gonna have days where I slip up. I love to eat. I like to eat real FOOD. Pork ribs, and fatty ribeye steaks, potatoes and rice. Its all about portion.
I'm kinda excited to get back to working out. The flu SUCKED!!! I'm excited to see what next sunday's weigh in will bring. my jean are already falling off of me. (very uncomfortable)
Friday, January 21, 2011
my bff
only when you are losing weight is the scale your best friend! Although I have not had a chance to work out since last Thursday because I have the flu, I have managed to continue to lose weight. Pretty exciting.
so jan 5th i weighed 198 and today jan 21 i am at 193. yay me. 5lbs. 45lbs more to go! i'm hoping i can not only meet my goal for the year but my goal for august 2012. it will be nice to try on wedding dresses and BE the size i want to be for my wedding!!! PLUS...summer is coming. everyone we know has pools, and I live on the best lake in tayuha! I have a couple bathing suits I got from a shipper that I really want to fit into this summer. I'll have to get them back from my friend but I told her to begin with that I was hoping to fit into them. I want to look better than I did last summer. I dont want any of my summer clothes I bought last year to fit me. Also I will be working all summer so that will help! packing ppls HOT houses. burn off a bunch of water weight. Not to mention all the bbq foods. eh.
Being sick I still tried to eat healthy. But, eating at all was a major fight.
Now it is the weekend. I'm still feeling like garbage, but i think i can get in my upper and lower toning, and my abs. I can try right. Maybe even try to run a little. WE'LL SEE!!
I hate being sick, and I am going to start taking a multi-vitamin and hope my immune system gets back to where it used to be.
so jan 5th i weighed 198 and today jan 21 i am at 193. yay me. 5lbs. 45lbs more to go! i'm hoping i can not only meet my goal for the year but my goal for august 2012. it will be nice to try on wedding dresses and BE the size i want to be for my wedding!!! PLUS...summer is coming. everyone we know has pools, and I live on the best lake in tayuha! I have a couple bathing suits I got from a shipper that I really want to fit into this summer. I'll have to get them back from my friend but I told her to begin with that I was hoping to fit into them. I want to look better than I did last summer. I dont want any of my summer clothes I bought last year to fit me. Also I will be working all summer so that will help! packing ppls HOT houses. burn off a bunch of water weight. Not to mention all the bbq foods. eh.
Being sick I still tried to eat healthy. But, eating at all was a major fight.
Now it is the weekend. I'm still feeling like garbage, but i think i can get in my upper and lower toning, and my abs. I can try right. Maybe even try to run a little. WE'LL SEE!!
I hate being sick, and I am going to start taking a multi-vitamin and hope my immune system gets back to where it used to be.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
feeling not so good
my lack of appetite has definetly helped me lose a couple pounds. but it didnt come without a cost. my stomach is in knots from all the drainage. Not sure what to eat. I know I should eat, but its hard when nothing looks or sounds good. I'm trying really hard to stay away from the top ramen. I might give in today though. Only having small "chloe size" portions for dinner the last two days is not enough. Definetly NOT working out today. I'm going to try to lay on the couch all day.
On the positive side my van should be fixed today. Looking forward to that!
On the positive side my van should be fixed today. Looking forward to that!
Monday, January 17, 2011
for sharon :)
i haven't posted anything in a while, not cause i have given up, but because i have not done anything.
since friday i have felt not myself. i thought it was because on thursday i went out with a friend. although i only had one drink, getting home at 1 and not sleeping till 2am, and waking up at 5am makes me feel like poop! lack of sleep always makes my body ache. so on saturday when i STILL felt sore i thought okay i'm just old and it takes me longer to recover from not getting enough sleep.
i was up late saturday doing some decluttering of the house, i thought i was feeling better.
NOPE!
about midnight i was uncontrollably shivering. i was sooo cold to the bone. i had thermals, comfy fuzzy socks, tank top long sleeve shirt, a thick comforter, AND our down comforter doubled on me and i was still shivering. (oh and the heater was turned up as high as it could go). i finally warmed up. yeah not as good as you think. i warmed up to a 103 degree fever. i was burning up.. when i tried to uncover i would be frozen! oh man i thought to myself I'm really sick. what the heck did i catch. on top of it all i couldnt breathe through my nose and my cough was hurting my chest. poor nick didnt get any sleep either. i had that room like a sauna and i was tossing and turning all night.
so sunday you can tell what i did....yep, laid in bed till nick got home with the girls. then sat on the couch.
today, started out the same way. muscles sore. just miserable. but as i got moving i felt better. and now i feel great. maybe a small nasel congestion. nothign that some sudafed can't fix.
but i still dont have an appetite, and am definetly NOT running today!
Tomorrow i am going to try to work out and maybe do a light jog. you know it never fails that i start getting good with eating healthy and getting a good work out routine down and i get sick. last year i was doing 9 minute miles and i'd do 2 miles. then the next day....BAM!!! i got the flu. it was horrible. throwing up 24 hours straight. then for 3 weeks i just ate whatever i could stomach. on top of that we all got it AT SEPERATE TIMES (except chloe). and again after that i was doing good, then broncitis....
now anyone that knows me knows i NEVER get sick. but it seems that since i had chloe i've been sick almost every other month. but she hasnt gotten sick other than twice.
we'll see, tomorrow is another day. and if i stay busy and positive i know i can make this cold go away quickly
since friday i have felt not myself. i thought it was because on thursday i went out with a friend. although i only had one drink, getting home at 1 and not sleeping till 2am, and waking up at 5am makes me feel like poop! lack of sleep always makes my body ache. so on saturday when i STILL felt sore i thought okay i'm just old and it takes me longer to recover from not getting enough sleep.
i was up late saturday doing some decluttering of the house, i thought i was feeling better.
NOPE!
about midnight i was uncontrollably shivering. i was sooo cold to the bone. i had thermals, comfy fuzzy socks, tank top long sleeve shirt, a thick comforter, AND our down comforter doubled on me and i was still shivering. (oh and the heater was turned up as high as it could go). i finally warmed up. yeah not as good as you think. i warmed up to a 103 degree fever. i was burning up.. when i tried to uncover i would be frozen! oh man i thought to myself I'm really sick. what the heck did i catch. on top of it all i couldnt breathe through my nose and my cough was hurting my chest. poor nick didnt get any sleep either. i had that room like a sauna and i was tossing and turning all night.
so sunday you can tell what i did....yep, laid in bed till nick got home with the girls. then sat on the couch.
today, started out the same way. muscles sore. just miserable. but as i got moving i felt better. and now i feel great. maybe a small nasel congestion. nothign that some sudafed can't fix.
but i still dont have an appetite, and am definetly NOT running today!
Tomorrow i am going to try to work out and maybe do a light jog. you know it never fails that i start getting good with eating healthy and getting a good work out routine down and i get sick. last year i was doing 9 minute miles and i'd do 2 miles. then the next day....BAM!!! i got the flu. it was horrible. throwing up 24 hours straight. then for 3 weeks i just ate whatever i could stomach. on top of that we all got it AT SEPERATE TIMES (except chloe). and again after that i was doing good, then broncitis....
now anyone that knows me knows i NEVER get sick. but it seems that since i had chloe i've been sick almost every other month. but she hasnt gotten sick other than twice.
we'll see, tomorrow is another day. and if i stay busy and positive i know i can make this cold go away quickly
Thursday, January 13, 2011
day 1
its weird saying day one... cause i already had and messed up day 1. oh well i call a mulligan.
but i have done pretty good today. only did a mile on the treadmill but i will be out dancing with carly tonight so that should count for something. i'm still a sahm first. and i have chores and laundry to get done along with spending some time with the girls.
still havent weighed in or measured. but i will do that later. shower and chores. can't wait for tonight. so much fun.
but i have done pretty good today. only did a mile on the treadmill but i will be out dancing with carly tonight so that should count for something. i'm still a sahm first. and i have chores and laundry to get done along with spending some time with the girls.
still havent weighed in or measured. but i will do that later. shower and chores. can't wait for tonight. so much fun.
starting over
i have failed....i have been working out everyday but eating...i have been sucking!!! not too proud of that.
but now i went grocery shopping, i have food, and snacks, and dinners. now it should be easier. i have my spiral notebook when i right down what i eat. i have my food counter book sitting right on top of that. i'm ready to do this....properly.
so i'm gonna start over. now i'm gonna have to work harder to reach my goal, but i think i can do it this time. i saw myself in the produce mirror yesturday at safeway and....yuck. i dont know why thats not enough to make me work at getting to my goal. it should. gross and ppl see me like that. eh!
well here it goes!
(i'll weigh in and measure later this afternoon, thursdays will be my new weigh in day)
but now i went grocery shopping, i have food, and snacks, and dinners. now it should be easier. i have my spiral notebook when i right down what i eat. i have my food counter book sitting right on top of that. i'm ready to do this....properly.
so i'm gonna start over. now i'm gonna have to work harder to reach my goal, but i think i can do it this time. i saw myself in the produce mirror yesturday at safeway and....yuck. i dont know why thats not enough to make me work at getting to my goal. it should. gross and ppl see me like that. eh!
well here it goes!
(i'll weigh in and measure later this afternoon, thursdays will be my new weigh in day)
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
1-11-11
my body is on fire, my shins feel like they are going to break in half but i not only met my goal but i beat it!!!!
27 min at 4.5mph...2 minutes 5.5mph and walked 3 minutes. 2.12 miles 359 cal, 112 fat
yay me!
AND the girls are still sleeping. so i can even get into the shower before they wake up
27 min at 4.5mph...2 minutes 5.5mph and walked 3 minutes. 2.12 miles 359 cal, 112 fat
yay me!
AND the girls are still sleeping. so i can even get into the shower before they wake up
01-11-11 goal
okay because i am feeling really motivated i'm going to make my running goal for today.
gonna do 30 minutes. 20 minutes at my comfortable pace of 4.5 and then 3 minutes at 6mph. and hopefully the last 7 minutes at intervals from 4.5 to 6mph.
wish me luck. gonna watch mulan and run. i know that as soon as i start running chloe will wake up and then it will be all over. but here's to trying
gonna do 30 minutes. 20 minutes at my comfortable pace of 4.5 and then 3 minutes at 6mph. and hopefully the last 7 minutes at intervals from 4.5 to 6mph.
wish me luck. gonna watch mulan and run. i know that as soon as i start running chloe will wake up and then it will be all over. but here's to trying
i dont wanna
i really dont want to work out today. these girls have been running me ragged all day. i'm already all dressed to do it but will i actually go through with it.....
i sure hope so.
not sure if i'm gonna set myself a goal today. i'm hoping both girls take a nap today after lunch. i haven't been losing any weight and i'm getting frustrated. but its my fault. i'm not doing it right. hopefully we can get some groceries tomorrow.
i sure hope so.
not sure if i'm gonna set myself a goal today. i'm hoping both girls take a nap today after lunch. i haven't been losing any weight and i'm getting frustrated. but its my fault. i'm not doing it right. hopefully we can get some groceries tomorrow.
Monday, January 10, 2011
round 2
so i got back on and ran another mile after dinner. i could have ran farther if i didnt just eat a slice and a half of pizza and some salad. eh my stomach was full. but at least i did it.
today sucked
i got motivated pretty quick and did all my work out just fine..
till i got to the treadmill...
i swear chloe is the best sleeper ever UNTIL i plug in the treadmill. everytime i do she wakes up. i dont know what her deal is. today i had to get off cause she was screaming. usually i'll just finish my workout while she plays in her crib but not today. brat had to sc\ream and i was only 6 minutes into it
hopefully i can try again when nick gets home....hopefully. we're stuck here tonight so nothing else to do.
till i got to the treadmill...
i swear chloe is the best sleeper ever UNTIL i plug in the treadmill. everytime i do she wakes up. i dont know what her deal is. today i had to get off cause she was screaming. usually i'll just finish my workout while she plays in her crib but not today. brat had to sc\ream and i was only 6 minutes into it
hopefully i can try again when nick gets home....hopefully. we're stuck here tonight so nothing else to do.
the weekend
I did horrible this weekend. Saturday i started out really good. nick made me some good breakfast and packed the girls and i some lunch. then i went to the baby showers. chips and dips, and cake. oh man. cheese and crackers and meat. oh my.
i think i did pretty good. snacked on some chips at the first one, and olives and some chees on the second.
by the time i was done i was tired. i had moved my entire storage unit by myself.
dinner we had cheese quesidillas! ABSOLUTELY NOT GOOD. probably in one quesidilla i had enough calories as i do in one day. okay i thought put chloe to bed, clean up a bit and watch a movie with natalie have a little popcorn and wait till the nick gets home from the game.
they came home with ice cream and hot fudge. So i had a bowl. :-(
sunday, i started out with oatmeal from mcdonalds. JUST AS BAD AS A SAUSAGE MCMUFFIN just twice as much carbs. yeah i said that. it had 370 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, and 57 carbs!!! holy cow. I couldnt believe it.
well its okay, i was going to cabelas and we usually walk around there for a few hours so that will be good.
we had lunch at cabelas. mushroom swiss burger and fries. (dummy) i ate it all! why oh why did i have to do that. then topped it off with ice cream and popcorn.
but ice cream is all gone (so is the fudge) and all the popcorn is gone too. (i really dont need that much salt so late at night). its monday and its a new start right. lets hope so!!
now that its snowing i'm gonna have a hard time getting the motivation to work out. and i promised natalie i'd take her out when chloe is sleeping...which is when i work out. so we'll see how today goes.
since i didnt work out all weekend my muscles have rested and i'm going to be dragging butt in my work out today.
i think i did pretty good. snacked on some chips at the first one, and olives and some chees on the second.
by the time i was done i was tired. i had moved my entire storage unit by myself.
dinner we had cheese quesidillas! ABSOLUTELY NOT GOOD. probably in one quesidilla i had enough calories as i do in one day. okay i thought put chloe to bed, clean up a bit and watch a movie with natalie have a little popcorn and wait till the nick gets home from the game.
they came home with ice cream and hot fudge. So i had a bowl. :-(
sunday, i started out with oatmeal from mcdonalds. JUST AS BAD AS A SAUSAGE MCMUFFIN just twice as much carbs. yeah i said that. it had 370 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, and 57 carbs!!! holy cow. I couldnt believe it.
well its okay, i was going to cabelas and we usually walk around there for a few hours so that will be good.
we had lunch at cabelas. mushroom swiss burger and fries. (dummy) i ate it all! why oh why did i have to do that. then topped it off with ice cream and popcorn.
but ice cream is all gone (so is the fudge) and all the popcorn is gone too. (i really dont need that much salt so late at night). its monday and its a new start right. lets hope so!!
now that its snowing i'm gonna have a hard time getting the motivation to work out. and i promised natalie i'd take her out when chloe is sleeping...which is when i work out. so we'll see how today goes.
since i didnt work out all weekend my muscles have rested and i'm going to be dragging butt in my work out today.
Friday, January 7, 2011
stress=eating
today has been rough.....the girls have been at each other all day. everytime i get things picked up they come through and dvds are everywhere the table is scattered with coloring stuff. and little things are everywhere!
on top of that i went to silverdale. left my hosue at 7 and got home at 930 and the house was a mess. sso now i have to clean that up too.
yet....
food, like chips and cheese dip are at my reach and i wanna just junk out and destress.
instead i'll spend the next hour cleaning what i can without waking the girls..... then eat some popcorn and watch a movie. blah. maybe i'll feel better then!
on top of that i went to silverdale. left my hosue at 7 and got home at 930 and the house was a mess. sso now i have to clean that up too.
yet....
food, like chips and cheese dip are at my reach and i wanna just junk out and destress.
instead i'll spend the next hour cleaning what i can without waking the girls..... then eat some popcorn and watch a movie. blah. maybe i'll feel better then!
day 5 workout complete
30:04 (min:sec) 2.04 miles, 339 calories, 106 fat, only 3 minutes to warm up and cool down total. i did 20 minutes again at 4.5 and the rest was a combination of running a minute at 6.0mph then back to 4.5 then to 5.5 ect......three minutes was too much
but the good news is i doubled how many miles i ran from monday. my goal is to be able to run from my house to the begining of maggie lake and back this summer. we'll see...i dont run very well in hot weather. it might have to on a rainy hot day. we'll see. definetly gonna have to invest in a new bike this summer and a new bike trailer. oh and a bike for nick too.
i'm excited at my progress.
but the good news is i doubled how many miles i ran from monday. my goal is to be able to run from my house to the begining of maggie lake and back this summer. we'll see...i dont run very well in hot weather. it might have to on a rainy hot day. we'll see. definetly gonna have to invest in a new bike this summer and a new bike trailer. oh and a bike for nick too.
i'm excited at my progress.
a little early
I have an obsession with the scale! Really I do! I can't stay off of it. I weight myself everytime I go to the bathroom.... pretty bad I know. I'm going to give nick the battery out of it on monday so I can't look.
BUT.....
I've already lost 2lbs this week. so i am at 196.4. And this is with just portioning the foods i've been eating and working out. Monday I will have all the groceries I need for eating healthy all day long. (just had to wait till payday to grocery shop) Then the calorie/fat/carb counting will start. I better dig my food scale out of the pantry....eh.
If I ALREADY after 4 days lost 2lbs and thats with eating beef and chips, and a bite of natalie's ice cream. I think I can do my 50 in a year. HELL I may even be able to do my full 65 that I wanted to lose....which would bring me to a cute 133! well 135 is fine too! lol. And if I can get down that low, i'll be as small as I was in 8th grade! So about 14 years ago!
Not that the number is as important as jsut looking good and being fit and healthy. You know if i dont reach a size 6 or 135lbs, i'll be okay with that. I've had two kids and with chloe I definetly felt my hips spread! but we'll see. I've seen ppl do it.
Here's the hardest part. I posted my weight loss and I am extremly happy abnout it BUT... once ppl start telling me wow you look great or great job I lose all motivation. I think eh....ppl are saying i look good i can slack a little
Help me to not slack. That is what I am asking my followers to do. HELP ME TO NOT SLACK. maybe be creative and encorageing. probably doesnt make much sense but....Just do it okay lol!!!
Just so I dont have to post again my goal on the treadmill today is 20 minutes running at 4.5 and 3 minutes at 6mph. Now when I say 20 minutes running you have to add 5 minutes for the warm up and cool down. so today I should be on the treadmill for 28 minutes total!
thankfully dinner is easy.... turkey meat ball subs. No cheese on mine and only one side of the bun. Eh well maybe just a sprinkle of cheese!!! maybe not. geez its only 730 am and i'm already fighting myself about cheese at dinner time!!!! this might be a long day
BUT.....
I've already lost 2lbs this week. so i am at 196.4. And this is with just portioning the foods i've been eating and working out. Monday I will have all the groceries I need for eating healthy all day long. (just had to wait till payday to grocery shop) Then the calorie/fat/carb counting will start. I better dig my food scale out of the pantry....eh.
If I ALREADY after 4 days lost 2lbs and thats with eating beef and chips, and a bite of natalie's ice cream. I think I can do my 50 in a year. HELL I may even be able to do my full 65 that I wanted to lose....which would bring me to a cute 133! well 135 is fine too! lol. And if I can get down that low, i'll be as small as I was in 8th grade! So about 14 years ago!
Not that the number is as important as jsut looking good and being fit and healthy. You know if i dont reach a size 6 or 135lbs, i'll be okay with that. I've had two kids and with chloe I definetly felt my hips spread! but we'll see. I've seen ppl do it.
Here's the hardest part. I posted my weight loss and I am extremly happy abnout it BUT... once ppl start telling me wow you look great or great job I lose all motivation. I think eh....ppl are saying i look good i can slack a little
Help me to not slack. That is what I am asking my followers to do. HELP ME TO NOT SLACK. maybe be creative and encorageing. probably doesnt make much sense but....Just do it okay lol!!!
Just so I dont have to post again my goal on the treadmill today is 20 minutes running at 4.5 and 3 minutes at 6mph. Now when I say 20 minutes running you have to add 5 minutes for the warm up and cool down. so today I should be on the treadmill for 28 minutes total!
thankfully dinner is easy.... turkey meat ball subs. No cheese on mine and only one side of the bun. Eh well maybe just a sprinkle of cheese!!! maybe not. geez its only 730 am and i'm already fighting myself about cheese at dinner time!!!! this might be a long day
Thursday, January 6, 2011
its done
k everyone!! I DID IT! 20 minutes. and it wasnt that bad. once i found my pace.
the results are
21:02 (min:sec) 1.5 miles, 255 calories, 80 fat, at 4.5 mph. the last two minutes i ran at 6mph. that was hard!
i think i did pretty good. i'm not sure how exact the cal/fat counter is on a treadmil but whatever. it gives me hope. i wanna get back up to when i was burning 500 calories JUST ON THE TREADMILL. not counting my weights and crunches before hand. now if someone would please just take my scale out of my house. that would be great. i'm gonna have ot get nick to take the battery to work with him. checking everyday is not working
YAY i have 2 followers now. i'm not the best writer and i am very certain my puncutaion and speling are all off! lol. thank you carly for following me. i wanted to thank you too for the workout video. its simple and easy to do so it keeps me going everyday.
the results are
21:02 (min:sec) 1.5 miles, 255 calories, 80 fat, at 4.5 mph. the last two minutes i ran at 6mph. that was hard!
i think i did pretty good. i'm not sure how exact the cal/fat counter is on a treadmil but whatever. it gives me hope. i wanna get back up to when i was burning 500 calories JUST ON THE TREADMILL. not counting my weights and crunches before hand. now if someone would please just take my scale out of my house. that would be great. i'm gonna have ot get nick to take the battery to work with him. checking everyday is not working
YAY i have 2 followers now. i'm not the best writer and i am very certain my puncutaion and speling are all off! lol. thank you carly for following me. i wanted to thank you too for the workout video. its simple and easy to do so it keeps me going everyday.
can i do it???
twenty minutes of running. first my weights and crunches. then the dreaded treadmil. I'll post back with the results.
lets see if this blog thing works. if it can push me to do my goal for the day. I cant lie. i have to tell you the truth (my one follower!) hopefully this will push me the extra push i need
lets see if this blog thing works. if it can push me to do my goal for the day. I cant lie. i have to tell you the truth (my one follower!) hopefully this will push me the extra push i need
breakfast
Until I can go grocery shopping, I get the unexciting OATMEAL....Not the exciting oatmeal in the delicious packets, or even the ones where the dinosaur eggs melt....
NO i bet plain nasty oatmeal. I try to choke it down with some sugar free syrup in it. I know I just can't skip breakfast so i'm stuck with
OATMEAL.
Gotta go. If I dont eat it quick it gets cold, and nastier. And the quicker I eat it the less I think about the taste!
NO i bet plain nasty oatmeal. I try to choke it down with some sugar free syrup in it. I know I just can't skip breakfast so i'm stuck with
OATMEAL.
Gotta go. If I dont eat it quick it gets cold, and nastier. And the quicker I eat it the less I think about the taste!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
the goal
My goal isn't too bad. Hopefully by august 2012 (the wedding) I will be a cute 130lbs. But lets be realistic. lets start with my goal for the year.
50lbs.....Not to bad right. Even saying it it sounds like nothing. But as i know from previous experiences with weight loss....its a long, tough, emotional journey.
If i stock my house with the right foods....and force myself everyday to work out....I should be able to reach my goal.
my current weight (jsut got off the scale everyone) is 198lbs. 50lbs will get me at 148...smallest i've been in probably 17 years. HONESTLY.
because i'm not rich...I cant just throw out the foods currently in the house. Nor can I rush right out and stock up on the healthier foods i used to eat. I have to wait till payday and until the foods we have are gone. Luckily i still managed through all the junk i was eating to keep around the essentials like fat free mayonase and sugar free coffee creamer, fruits and veggies. I dont let the kids eat junk snacks so things like fruit snacks and chips never make it into the house much.
My calorie restriction everyday is 1200cal. and my fat is 20 and my carbs is about 40. its hard. but i noticed if i have the right foods at home I am full and still dont reach my cut offs.
the hard part is snacking before bed..... i love a good snack after the girls are sleeping and i'm watching tv. thats been my hardest part. Living in belfair you only have soo many choices for fast food. and as much as i love a good big mac.....it gets old. that part wont be hard.
monday i start my strict eating. and i've already started working out. man am i sore. i forgot how hard it was to get started everyday.
i got this blog idea from a friend and i hope it works for me. I dont have much support through friends cause none of them work out. or eat right. eating at home doesnt mean you are eating healthy....thats another thing i learned when i got my total food counter. you have no idea how bad your homemade food is till you start adding it up!!!!
wish me luck and hopefully this will keep me focased. i cant afford weight watchers and there isnt a gym way up where i live. :-(
50lbs.....Not to bad right. Even saying it it sounds like nothing. But as i know from previous experiences with weight loss....its a long, tough, emotional journey.
If i stock my house with the right foods....and force myself everyday to work out....I should be able to reach my goal.
my current weight (jsut got off the scale everyone) is 198lbs. 50lbs will get me at 148...smallest i've been in probably 17 years. HONESTLY.
because i'm not rich...I cant just throw out the foods currently in the house. Nor can I rush right out and stock up on the healthier foods i used to eat. I have to wait till payday and until the foods we have are gone. Luckily i still managed through all the junk i was eating to keep around the essentials like fat free mayonase and sugar free coffee creamer, fruits and veggies. I dont let the kids eat junk snacks so things like fruit snacks and chips never make it into the house much.
My calorie restriction everyday is 1200cal. and my fat is 20 and my carbs is about 40. its hard. but i noticed if i have the right foods at home I am full and still dont reach my cut offs.
the hard part is snacking before bed..... i love a good snack after the girls are sleeping and i'm watching tv. thats been my hardest part. Living in belfair you only have soo many choices for fast food. and as much as i love a good big mac.....it gets old. that part wont be hard.
monday i start my strict eating. and i've already started working out. man am i sore. i forgot how hard it was to get started everyday.
i got this blog idea from a friend and i hope it works for me. I dont have much support through friends cause none of them work out. or eat right. eating at home doesnt mean you are eating healthy....thats another thing i learned when i got my total food counter. you have no idea how bad your homemade food is till you start adding it up!!!!
wish me luck and hopefully this will keep me focased. i cant afford weight watchers and there isnt a gym way up where i live. :-(
the story
In high school I used to think I was fat. Grossly fat at that. Never had a boyfriend. No guys even looked at me that way. Looking back at pictures i realize I LOOKED GREAT. Especially now that I am just that...FAT!
I wish I could say that I have some sort of excuse....i've had two kids with in 3 years...or I was stressed....nope. none of that is the truth.
After high school I started having fun. Guys started to like me more. Parties were ALWAYS at MY house. I was the popular one. I felt good.
Then I got tired of the guys, and the parties. Still managed to keep my same weight of 170 throughout all of this. Even through job corp i managed to keep up my metabolism.
Then I met NICK. Not to say its all his fault....but thats when it all started. We both worked nights and would get off work at 11 and eat at the only place in bremerton open that late...JACK IN THE BOX. Or we would have dinner late, like dinner dinner, that most ppl would have at about 5 or 6...we were eating that at 11pm-midnight some nights. Then we would go to sleep. NOT a good combination. Not to mention I worked at a convience store where chips and sodas were only but a reach away.
Within a quick 3 months I put on 50 POUNDS!!!! Without having a scale I had no idea. None of my clothes were fitting but i just thought. well I just put on a few pounds not that big of a deal. It wasnt till I was TRYING to get dressed for a coctail christmas party one of my friends was having that i realized HOLY SHIT....NOTHING F'ING FITS ME!!! Lets just say that was the worst party I've ever been too. Not because she threw a horrible party...oh no. i was the only one NOT dressed up! And I could have sworn if I bent over i was going to blow a hole through the only pair of pants that fit me.
I went shopping found some clothes that fit and went on with my life. We moved and I started going to school again. During finals week I stayed at my cousins house cause it was easier to get to classes. WELL she had a scale. NOT GOOD!!!
So my big butt got on the scale and thinking....well i think i only gained like 10lbs....was shocked to find myself at 205!!! holy cow!!! I cried the whole way home.....after some comforting from nick I started taking OXYCUT. The one WITH caffine. And I ate once a day. like crackers. Not a meal.... Well as most crash diets work.....it didnt. I got headaches and was tired all the time....THEN.
someone had some "cheatin chicken" (banquet fried chicken you just put in the oven) my fav!!! and I gave in and ate SOOO much food. I realized then I loved food. I love to eat. I like ice cream and chocolate and fast foods and fried goods!! How was I ever going to lose all this weight.
I would see myself in pictures and say gross. I can't believe I let myself get this way. yeah its just 50 from where I was before, but I was technically already overweight and wanted to lose 40lbs when I weight 170. How the hell was I going to lose close to 100!!!! holy cow!
THEN.... baby makes 3.
On top of my already gaining weight I had a baby that NEEDED to be fed. geez!! was this cycle ever going to end! So I did really good. i was eating 5 times a day. not eating out. veggies for snacks....then someone brought over some oreos. I remember like it was yesturday... I put them in the garage while nick was at work so I wouldnt see them....But as I sat there all I could think about was dipping those delicious double stuffed (did i mention they were the chocolate icing ones) into a tall glass of milk. Well there went the eating healthy part. The baby wanted REAL foods!!!
Along with all my clothes not fitting I had to hear the doctor say I was gaining too much weight. And that was when I was only 5 months. I thought OH NO...how much fatter am i going to get by month 10!!! Luckily I gained only 30lbs with her and within a month IT WAS GONE!
Great now back to my original weight problem. 50lbs. how to lose that. well having a baby, and house chores, and a full time job working till 10 and an hour commute one way didnt exactly make me want to rush home to the treadmill. (which i didnt have) so you can see where my problem was! Also the ppl I was around didnt work out. much less care what they looked like. so why should I.
Ignoring my weight problem seemed to be the easy route. then October 2007 I saw a picture of me with nick and my little baby natalie. I WAS HUGE!!!! So I was on a mission then. I went for walks and tried to not gorge myself with food cause of stress and exhaustion. That didnt work. Luckily I can honestly say that onced i reached 200lbs...thats where i stayed.
I was living in bremerton and just minutes from the YMCA...so I saved up what I could and thought when the YMCA does their disounts at the new year i'll join. Man, I thought, this is it. I had the money ready and thought okay thanksgiving and christmas i'm gonna get what I can then I"m done.
Missed period. SHIT!!! here we go again. I was so excited for the gym that the disappointment that I would have to wait yet another year of being FAT before I can work out, over took the excitement of my precious chloe bear. When I guilt free had my first oreo shake the excitement finally came back
Again with chloe as I did with natalie..I gained 30lbs.....This time it was gone within weeks!! I felt Great. Not like with natalie. I was tired after delivery. Just plain exhausted. With chloe I felt alive. Until I had to juggle a 2 and a half year old and a nursing newborn. Wow was I tired. luckily i ate decent while nursing. But still managed to GAIN 10lbs...
Yes I said it! One of the few UNLUCKY ppl that gain weight while nursing. Which i thought was weird.....cause I wasnt eating bad. I was actually being healthy cause the baby needed healthy milk not milk full of CRAP.
Thanksgiving 2009 I weighed myself at nicks brothers house and it ruined my night. Do you know how hard it is to eat delicious holiday fatty foods after weighing yourself. I was done. I had to do something. FAST. so i asked for advice and got on a program.
also I got engaged that december and was supposed to get married this august 2011. There was NO WAY you'd see my fat ass walk down the aisle weighing no more than 140 MAX!!!
I was good, i ate good. 5 times a day. healthy low calorie low carb low fat foods. Even natalie started to thin out. (not that she was fat but eating healthy benefited her as well). I FELT AMAZING!!! I was running 9 minute miles, i was getting down in size. It was AWESOME....
Then NAtalie got the flu. then I got the flu.....Talk about horrible. 24 hours of straight puking followed by a month of knots in your stomach. I ate WHATEVER I could. I still worked out but being sick made me tired. On top of all that.....my milk dried, when i took a prescription to help it come back, chloe didnt want it anymore....So now my boobs were the size of bowling balls and it hurt to run! great anouther excuse! but when all was done i got back on and started losing weight again. i was down to 182.....OH MY GOODNESS!! i was sooooo excited. I was fitting into all my clothes. in fact they were falling off. SO i gave away all my fat clothes. got them OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! never again will i wear those! and then my skinny clothes started to fall of me. And just in time. if i kept it up i would look amazing by summer! maybe even lower than my original goal of 170 by 8-18-10 (chloe's 1st birthday).
well things happened like they always do. we had to move in with nicks dad. then chloe natalie and i all got broncitus VERY bad. Have you ever tried to run with broncitus. not to mention after you and your poor 8 month old were coughing all night. Doesnt last very long (5 minutes to be exact) Fuck!
when that was finally over we were moving into our new place in tahuya, got everything in place and started swimming with the girls at the lake. which is probably the only reason i didnt get super fat. it took 1 month to gain back the 20 i had worked soooo hard to lose. then.....
I broke my toe. I thought running with broncitus was bad....WALKING or even having the blanket touch my toe while i was sleeping was so painful that i sat my butt on the couch and waited for it to stop hurting.
Now....we're at the present day. No more excuses. chloe is over a year old and natalie is almost 4. I've put this off for long enough.
I know I can do it. I did it a year ago...but I didnt stick with it. I would eat sooo good then gorge out on the weekends on nick and adams bbq...i couldnt help it. I didnt portion. I would eat the pork ribs like i haven't eaten in weeks....so i was counter acting what i was working sooo hard all week for.
This time it will be different. IF I eat their bbq its gonna be in portions. A peice than i'm done.
I the type that loves fruit and veggies....but put some salty chips in front of me and i'll choose that any day.
I wish I could say that I have some sort of excuse....i've had two kids with in 3 years...or I was stressed....nope. none of that is the truth.
After high school I started having fun. Guys started to like me more. Parties were ALWAYS at MY house. I was the popular one. I felt good.
Then I got tired of the guys, and the parties. Still managed to keep my same weight of 170 throughout all of this. Even through job corp i managed to keep up my metabolism.
Then I met NICK. Not to say its all his fault....but thats when it all started. We both worked nights and would get off work at 11 and eat at the only place in bremerton open that late...JACK IN THE BOX. Or we would have dinner late, like dinner dinner, that most ppl would have at about 5 or 6...we were eating that at 11pm-midnight some nights. Then we would go to sleep. NOT a good combination. Not to mention I worked at a convience store where chips and sodas were only but a reach away.
Within a quick 3 months I put on 50 POUNDS!!!! Without having a scale I had no idea. None of my clothes were fitting but i just thought. well I just put on a few pounds not that big of a deal. It wasnt till I was TRYING to get dressed for a coctail christmas party one of my friends was having that i realized HOLY SHIT....NOTHING F'ING FITS ME!!! Lets just say that was the worst party I've ever been too. Not because she threw a horrible party...oh no. i was the only one NOT dressed up! And I could have sworn if I bent over i was going to blow a hole through the only pair of pants that fit me.
I went shopping found some clothes that fit and went on with my life. We moved and I started going to school again. During finals week I stayed at my cousins house cause it was easier to get to classes. WELL she had a scale. NOT GOOD!!!
So my big butt got on the scale and thinking....well i think i only gained like 10lbs....was shocked to find myself at 205!!! holy cow!!! I cried the whole way home.....after some comforting from nick I started taking OXYCUT. The one WITH caffine. And I ate once a day. like crackers. Not a meal.... Well as most crash diets work.....it didnt. I got headaches and was tired all the time....THEN.
someone had some "cheatin chicken" (banquet fried chicken you just put in the oven) my fav!!! and I gave in and ate SOOO much food. I realized then I loved food. I love to eat. I like ice cream and chocolate and fast foods and fried goods!! How was I ever going to lose all this weight.
I would see myself in pictures and say gross. I can't believe I let myself get this way. yeah its just 50 from where I was before, but I was technically already overweight and wanted to lose 40lbs when I weight 170. How the hell was I going to lose close to 100!!!! holy cow!
THEN.... baby makes 3.
On top of my already gaining weight I had a baby that NEEDED to be fed. geez!! was this cycle ever going to end! So I did really good. i was eating 5 times a day. not eating out. veggies for snacks....then someone brought over some oreos. I remember like it was yesturday... I put them in the garage while nick was at work so I wouldnt see them....But as I sat there all I could think about was dipping those delicious double stuffed (did i mention they were the chocolate icing ones) into a tall glass of milk. Well there went the eating healthy part. The baby wanted REAL foods!!!
Along with all my clothes not fitting I had to hear the doctor say I was gaining too much weight. And that was when I was only 5 months. I thought OH NO...how much fatter am i going to get by month 10!!! Luckily I gained only 30lbs with her and within a month IT WAS GONE!
Great now back to my original weight problem. 50lbs. how to lose that. well having a baby, and house chores, and a full time job working till 10 and an hour commute one way didnt exactly make me want to rush home to the treadmill. (which i didnt have) so you can see where my problem was! Also the ppl I was around didnt work out. much less care what they looked like. so why should I.
Ignoring my weight problem seemed to be the easy route. then October 2007 I saw a picture of me with nick and my little baby natalie. I WAS HUGE!!!! So I was on a mission then. I went for walks and tried to not gorge myself with food cause of stress and exhaustion. That didnt work. Luckily I can honestly say that onced i reached 200lbs...thats where i stayed.
I was living in bremerton and just minutes from the YMCA...so I saved up what I could and thought when the YMCA does their disounts at the new year i'll join. Man, I thought, this is it. I had the money ready and thought okay thanksgiving and christmas i'm gonna get what I can then I"m done.
Missed period. SHIT!!! here we go again. I was so excited for the gym that the disappointment that I would have to wait yet another year of being FAT before I can work out, over took the excitement of my precious chloe bear. When I guilt free had my first oreo shake the excitement finally came back
Again with chloe as I did with natalie..I gained 30lbs.....This time it was gone within weeks!! I felt Great. Not like with natalie. I was tired after delivery. Just plain exhausted. With chloe I felt alive. Until I had to juggle a 2 and a half year old and a nursing newborn. Wow was I tired. luckily i ate decent while nursing. But still managed to GAIN 10lbs...
Yes I said it! One of the few UNLUCKY ppl that gain weight while nursing. Which i thought was weird.....cause I wasnt eating bad. I was actually being healthy cause the baby needed healthy milk not milk full of CRAP.
Thanksgiving 2009 I weighed myself at nicks brothers house and it ruined my night. Do you know how hard it is to eat delicious holiday fatty foods after weighing yourself. I was done. I had to do something. FAST. so i asked for advice and got on a program.
also I got engaged that december and was supposed to get married this august 2011. There was NO WAY you'd see my fat ass walk down the aisle weighing no more than 140 MAX!!!
I was good, i ate good. 5 times a day. healthy low calorie low carb low fat foods. Even natalie started to thin out. (not that she was fat but eating healthy benefited her as well). I FELT AMAZING!!! I was running 9 minute miles, i was getting down in size. It was AWESOME....
Then NAtalie got the flu. then I got the flu.....Talk about horrible. 24 hours of straight puking followed by a month of knots in your stomach. I ate WHATEVER I could. I still worked out but being sick made me tired. On top of all that.....my milk dried, when i took a prescription to help it come back, chloe didnt want it anymore....So now my boobs were the size of bowling balls and it hurt to run! great anouther excuse! but when all was done i got back on and started losing weight again. i was down to 182.....OH MY GOODNESS!! i was sooooo excited. I was fitting into all my clothes. in fact they were falling off. SO i gave away all my fat clothes. got them OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! never again will i wear those! and then my skinny clothes started to fall of me. And just in time. if i kept it up i would look amazing by summer! maybe even lower than my original goal of 170 by 8-18-10 (chloe's 1st birthday).
well things happened like they always do. we had to move in with nicks dad. then chloe natalie and i all got broncitus VERY bad. Have you ever tried to run with broncitus. not to mention after you and your poor 8 month old were coughing all night. Doesnt last very long (5 minutes to be exact) Fuck!
when that was finally over we were moving into our new place in tahuya, got everything in place and started swimming with the girls at the lake. which is probably the only reason i didnt get super fat. it took 1 month to gain back the 20 i had worked soooo hard to lose. then.....
I broke my toe. I thought running with broncitus was bad....WALKING or even having the blanket touch my toe while i was sleeping was so painful that i sat my butt on the couch and waited for it to stop hurting.
Now....we're at the present day. No more excuses. chloe is over a year old and natalie is almost 4. I've put this off for long enough.
I know I can do it. I did it a year ago...but I didnt stick with it. I would eat sooo good then gorge out on the weekends on nick and adams bbq...i couldnt help it. I didnt portion. I would eat the pork ribs like i haven't eaten in weeks....so i was counter acting what i was working sooo hard all week for.
This time it will be different. IF I eat their bbq its gonna be in portions. A peice than i'm done.
I the type that loves fruit and veggies....but put some salty chips in front of me and i'll choose that any day.
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